Are you in the company of the “Sandwich Generation”? By that, I mean people who are both raising a family and also caring for an elderly parent.

If so, I would guess that you’re under a great deal of anxiety from the large number of competing demands placed upon you frequently by your family – and that doesn’t even include the ones coming from your job and your employer.

Do you ever think you’re always sacrificing yourself for the rest of your family, at your own expense. You’re constantly taking the kids to school and sports functions, or driving your parents to doctors and other elder services, but you never seem to have any time to sit down, breathe, put your feet up, and go swimming, watch tv, or simply take a nap.

In fact, even if you could find a few minutes in your day to do such things, chances are you wouldn’t do them anyway, because to do so would make you feel guilty – as if you were neglecting your duty and your responsiblity to your family.

I used to think like that too – that I was the one who needed to surrender my time, energy and pleasures in order to take care of the family.

Then, one night I was watching the TV show, Baywatch – a show where one of the lifeguards had swum out underneath a jetty in very heavy seas, with the waves slapping forcefully against the posts of the pier. The inexperienced lifeguard came to the point where he realized that the waves were so strong that they were slamming him and his rescued swimmer toward an inevitable collision with one of those pilings.

His first thought was that he should place his body between the incapacitated swimmer and the pilings and let his body take the burden of whatever impact might occur. But, then he understood that if he were to do that, he might be knoced out – or otherwise, seriously harmed. If that were to happen, it was very likely that they would both die.

So, he quickly determined that if either of them had to get thrown up against the piling, it would have to been the person he was rescuing. He needed to remain strong, and alert, in order to ensure that they both made it to shore, and to safety.

I took a lesson from that episode, and have since applied it in my life in both personal and business situations.

As strange as it may seem, when the caregiving situation is so critical, it is imperative that the caregiver remain healthy and strong. Not many of us are faced with the lifeguard’s decision about to allow to be slammed up against the pilings, but many of us are faced – regularly – with decisions about taking time for ourselves to rest, recuperate. and in general, to disentangle from the extreme demands of the caregiver’s days.

I encourage you to take the time necessary for yourself to keep your immune system in good physical shape, to keep your attitude positive and your spirits light; otherwise, you will not be helping the people you care most about, but rather, you will begin to add to the problems that are already present.

The significance of this story is that the one who is responsible to ensure the well-being of others must be a little bit selfish when it comes to ensuring his or her mental and physical health – and ongoing ability to continue to be the family caregiver.

So, be sure to take good care of yourself – and don’t feel apologetic about it when you do.

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Tags: caregiving situation, family caregiver, sandwich generation